Wanting to keep you all in the loop on this lovely Electorial Tuesday, we would like to invite you over to The Onion for up-to-date information, as educated and informed citizens like yourself to go the polls. See below:
Exit Poll Data
7:10am Christopher Nathans, 18, cast an informed vote for president and half-a-dozen ignorant votes for mayor, governor, county sheriff, and some ballot initiative about term limits or banks or something.
7:10am Christopher Nathans, 18, cast an informed vote for president and half-a-dozen ignorant votes for mayor, governor, county sheriff, and some ballot initiative about term limits or banks or something.
8:53am Steven Spring of Charlotte, NC voted for Obama due to the fact he could never support a candidate whose last name rhymes with "Hussein".
10:30am Mary Lynn Hauser of Poughkeepsie, NY quickly voted for John McCain and then ran her ballot to the ballot box before she had a chance to change her mind.
12:17pm Simon Phillon of Short Hills, NJ broke a decades-old promise never to return to "that hellhole Hartshorn Elementary" when he voted today.
12:57pm In order to extend her lunch break an extra half hour, Maria Gomez of San Bernardino, CA pretended to feel conflicted for a while before ultimately pulling the lever for Barack Obama.
Give it up for the red, white and blue!
~j
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