I wear my sunglasses at night...or inside my office because of my mini-strokes

copied below is a email trail J & I started today. Apparently the new guy is polite, nice and attractive sounding on the phone, but I truly believe he's NOT IN PERSON...this is just a taste of our daily lives! remember, start at the bottom for full effectiveness.

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Dear Richie,

Tough it out, one day they might offer you $11.77! A whole 50cents more! Then life will really start to look up. You might even wear sunglasses to work, your future will be so bright. Or it might be the mini strokes you will begin to suffer from the work they will keep dumping on your desk and the fibromyalsia that your doctor will diagnose you with having. After all you were a happy, healthy attractive person before you came to work here.

Our administrator is very attractive..if you go for exposed tan lines, fried hair that one day will all fall out, a curveless figure that makes the section lesb's nips hard, and purple toenail polish.

get it richard, get it.

Sincerely,

Gerontol Admin
Honesty is our number one policy

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Dear Gerontol Admin,

You are probably right. I used to look like Brad Pitt, before the accident anyway. I will work hard for my $11.27 per hour, and will get some good experience to back-up my BS in Criminal Justice from Kaplan University. I will only be here another 3 or 4 months since they are giving me enough work for 3 people. I have found that I'm munching a lot at my desk lately...extreme make-over may not be a bad idea.

ps I heard your Administrator was hot (she told me herself)...is that so?

Regards,
R

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Dear R,

Gerontology will be nice to you until you show your fat, ugly face and then you will be dead to them.

We will be the first to say you are to be nominiated to be a candidate for extreme make-over, but not be able to sit beside you for fear of catching your fatness...it's like the flu, you know.

Best!

Gerontology Admin

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J,

Please find attached the information we spoke on earlier. Once the other R has approved the rebudget form I will immediately fix the budget to reflect your current numbers. Thank you so much for your kindness and help, sometimes I wish all my contacts were as good as Gerontology's are. Have a good day and please don't hesitate to call or email with any concerns we may have missed or not yet addressed.

Sincerely,

R